Something clicked this weekend.
It wasn't the goal reaching and perdy nail painting, although that was fun.
It wasn't, exactly, the 10 hours of training I managed without injury, fatigue, or childlike hissy fits on the floor.
It wasn't, quite, that I was able to (for the first time in FOREVER) meet each and every planned session without killing myself.
And, I don't think it was the personal swimming bests or "Wow, nice stroke" or running and stretching beyond cramps.
At least, I don't think so.
Whatever it was, something clicked last weekend. Just fell into place, like a fine swiss watch.
I'm actually going to do this. I really, really am.
It has been so easy to get caught up with making fancy hands distractions for myself -- crafting the charity website, researching training plans, and checking out this site or that site for guidance. In a way, I think I've been trying to distract myself just a wee bit so I can try this Iron Lifestyle on for size and see how it feels.
And, the conclusion is...it feels good.
Last Saturday, I spent some hours at the gym getting through my last handful of tasks before finishing up the week's responsibilities. And when I came home, I was SO INCREDIBLY ENERGIZED by the whole thing! My body felt great. My mood was over the moon.
I was just plain, old happy. So very happy. And it came from inside -- from me. Not from anything I bought or borrowed. Nothing I consumed. Nothing lived through another. Nothing at all adulterated.
And, for the first time, I really thought, "This is something you can do!" I really can do this exceptional thing called Ironman. I can do the organization and discipline parts. I can juggle my personal and emotional needs. I can avoid the pitfalls I know will be placed in my way.
It's all possible, people. All of it. You think it isn't for so long, but that's not true. If you spend the time and put yourself out there, honestly and fully, it absolutely is possible to live your dream life.
This is my dream life. This is what I always wanted. This is what I deserve. My history has taught me valuable lessons, but I've moved forward with only what I choose to take.
I wanted this badly enough to remove the counterintuitive and counterproductive. And now I'm there. Now I'm doing it.
Can you feel it, baby?
I. Can. Too.