Clicking and Planning

Things are starting to click, my friends.

Finally, they are starting to click.

The couple of weeks following the HIM in West Virginia were tough ones for me -- lots of doubt about ability and serious concerns about making it through the cutoff times at Wisconsin. Every training ride and run after that was steeped in those memories and I kept hitting a cycling wall -- convinced that I lacked the training necessary to do what I set out to do. And there was much disappointment. I was disappointed that I couldn't make a strong showing that day, after such hard work for months and months prior. And it took a couple of weeks and some mental gymnastics (wrestling) to come to terms with that emotion, knock it around for a while, and then toss it over my left shoulder and move forward without glancing back to see if it bounced.

Now, the last two weeks, in comparison, have been much better. Lots and lots of clicking. Some great swim sets that have really built my confidence that I won't need rescue in Monona. I've been having some really strong runs, too, that I just haven't posted about. Long ones are still hard on my joints (knees and, now, my right ankle), but I'm getting them done and staving off the discomfort until later and later in each session. And my century last weekend was another moment where I was able to feel in some way what the 9th will feel like.

All of these are just attempts at approximation, but they're so helpful for me, the newbie who got a little hopped up on caffeine and luck last September and signed up for this Ironman thingie. Approximation is really helpful. I know that a 4000+ straight set won't make major differences in my swimming ability, but it will make me enter that water with more confidence. And sometimes ballsy bravado can get you through some tough sit'cheations. I'm assuming Ironman qualifies as one of those... .

So, now I'm starting to feel the excitement around this, rather than the fear. I'm starting to plan -- with lists and more lists. I got all giddy last Friday (yup, I'm a dork) when I took Mighty M over to Kmart to get just the right sized plastic bins to transport my gear in the car. (One large for racing clothing and shoes, One medium for wetsuit, three small for tools for the bike, nutrition, and electronics.) I have -- I kid you not -- a SEVEN PAGE LIST of things like my nutrition plan and what goes in what special needs bag.

Oh, and don't forget my wardrobe. Must not forget wardrobe. There are lists for that, too.

It's so weird, though, to see the timer count down to these last two weeks of high volume training and then the taper period. It's so weird to know that I only have two long runs left. It's weird to know that I only have one long (100+) and one medium (75 mile) ride left. It's weird to be talking to my LBS about my last tune up.

Weird in a good way. Not in a fearful way. Weird in a very good way.