Friday, November 17, 2006

Bringing Sexy Back


Went for a lunchtime walk today and I just couldn't resist just a smidge of new gear for Sunday. I know, I know...where'd that budget go, lil' lady? Don't worry, no binge shopping. Just a fuel belt and some GU. It's all good.

But here's my question. Is it possible for women to ever look sexy when wearing one of these? I mean, really. I just bought the four squeeze bottle version (considering the distance Sunday) which also includes one roo-pouch and I bought a *second* roo-pouch for my cell phone, too.

(Let's be honest here. There's a real possibility that I'll be DNF in West Philly. Ever been to West Philly? No? Trust me...I'll want my cell phone. You want me to want my cell phone.)

That's a LOT of stuff around my waist. And while I don't believe that runners or triathletes EVER need to look hot out there while racing, is it too much to ask to not look like I'm wearing an oversized innertube?

There are, of course, benefits to the set up. If, for example, I randomly *fell* into the Schuylkill River I would clearly float.

Of course, I would float face down because of bottle placement. But at least finding my body would be very, very easy.

It is also a chance to color coordinate my FLUID with my OUTFIT, but sadly my palate is limited to also include red, black, and a flirty dash of silver.

At minimum, a full fuel belt greatly aids the negative split factor, so long as you use the facilities often. And with these four bottles, plus heaps of caffeine, and an unholy amount of pre-race hydration...I'm going to need the facilities. And often.

But honestly guys.

There is a serious dork factor going on here, don't you think? This contraption will be going around one of my "problem areas," my "zone of contention." I'm what they (kindly) call an hourglass figure (at least to my face). So adding a four-bottle-ring-of-fashion-hell with two pieces of carry-on luggage attached converts me from an abstract version of Marilyn Monroe to the shape of a...well...a rectangle.

A vertically oriented rectangle. With arms and legs.

There you go, friends. Need to find Able on Sunday in the throngs of people? Look for the red, black, and silver coordinated, vertically oriented rectangle, with a whole lotta red, black, and silver fluid options.

I'll be right by the porta-potties.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Able,

Of course girls can look sexy in a FuelBelt. Check out the utility belt on my boyhood crush. It didn't hurt her looks any. http://www.mooncrest-models.co.uk/images/craige batgirl.jpg

Stay tuned...

Porscha said...

Yep, lets face it, every superhero needs a fuel belt. (Among other things like spandex and anatomically correct suits) We'll work on looks later.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I couldn't agree more. Them things are designed to make me look like the pillsbury freakin' dough girl.

And I AM NOT FAT!

I got a Nathan belt - it's not AS bad. And it's pink!
http://www.nathansports.com/our_products/hydration_nutrition/speed_2.html

Anonymous said...

Miss Able,
How did the race belt work out during the race? Did you use it?
Jay

IM Able said...

T-D,

I decided against the Fuel Belt, so it now sits, neglected and sad, on the guest bed. I opted for the Nathan Elite 1 (I'll post a pic later) -- which worked well. It was slightly less fluid (by about 4 oz), but I had used it before and it had a bungie thingie (technical term, of course) on the back in case I needed to shed a layer on the way. Or two. Or many.

Anyway, clearly DPR and I are thinking alike, as great, well-dressed, sexy minds tend to. But, I've not given up on the fuel belt at all. There's a VERY cool trail run coming up in Jan that it would be perfect for.

Franks for asking!

able