Enough is Enough

I feel compelled to write this down for a number of reasons. One – it has been bugging me a bunch. Two – (consequently) it has been bugging Mighty M a bunch. Three – I doubt I’m alone.

Last night I had big plans for a long, slow distance. I need one…desperately. With the Philly Marathon approaching in November, I need to be religious about these distances. Or at least vaguely religious about them.

But life intervened with long grocery lines and heavy traffic and missing plug adapters and missing running shorts and every LITTLE thing that would regularly be just annoying, but instantaneously converted into one BIG thing standing between me and my workout.

UUUGGGHHH!

I stumbled through three frequently interrupted miles on the dreadmill and finally called it quits. Not because of pain. Not because of exhaustion. But because I had had it up to here and just had to pull the plug.

Three lousy miles.

And you DO hear the condescension in my typing! Three miles has become a happy quick workout on days when I’ve swum already or just want to get out but don’t need mileage. At one point very recently, it was a major physical effort for me – a major test of my progress. I appreciate that. I appreciate how far I have come and how nice it is to be physically able to simply put on some shoes and run three miles. I really do. But I have done that work. I have laid prostrate and breathless in front of the shin-splint infested mileage gods and begged for one more mile...just let me get through this without walking.

But it doesn’t feel like enough recently. I have been looking for more out of my training and last night that was mileage. I wanted that long run last night. I could taste it all day. It’s the only reason why I didn’t break down into tears when the six bottles of fizzy water that burst out of the one plastic bag the checkout girl thought would contain them spilled all over the floor. It’s the only reason why I rushed home and scurried around with plugs and outlets and pesky grounding adapters in order to use the dreadmill. It’s the only reason that I gave only a perfunctory listen to how Mighty M’s day went, rather than the full one it deserved.

What do we do when enough just doesn't feel like enough anymore??